I’ve been talking to you and myself (basically) onscreen for a year and a couple of days now.  This is the 50th e-journal entry, thus the golden post. Looking back, it wasn’t bad after all… I am halfway “there“.  A set or two more of golden posts and I’ll be where I’d set myself on getting… That could be two years maximum. Uh-oh!  Now am pressuring myself!  Oh heck!  Whatever.  Am taking my time… doing a slow dance.      The awesome Reids help me get through the blogosphere.  I wonder what I could have done without them.  Their patience with the computer-dummy-cyber-idiot me, made me this far… and going further…  with other ‘forces’. 

    There’s moo moo, whose website’s always open for me to tinker-and-tamper with. :)  FGFV’s another great force who had blown the magic realism’s door open for me to explore.  These two had ventured out of creative writing for awhile, exploring another world in blogosphere.

    These people of beautiful minds and beautiful souls are so real to me, despite never seeing them in person… We see eye to eye… through our hearts.  We connect.  These wonderful, awesome beings are whom I can label true friends…

    You meet people in the internet — real and unreal, some hiding behind different identities.  There are bees and butterflies…  Bees that hover above, fleeting from one flower to the other, sucking out the sweetness before  flying off to the next one.  There are butterflies, fluttering its lovely wings, fanning you out with a slight breeze… before you know it, it had vanished.  Those are characters that pass briefly in our lives… for a reason.  It might be for their own good or yours.  If you were stung, it’s not that bad after all, because you know you’ve done your role in somebody’s life… you’re real and honest.  And you still have you.  As a real bee (the critter:) pollinates a flower, a human ‘bee’ polishes another soul… disregard the sting, honey.  Nature isn’t cruel.  It’s just doing it’s job, you can’t help it. 

    It’s just a matter of PMA — Positive Mental Attitude, pal!  Oh, you’ll be drained of PMA but your true friends are there to replenish it.  They may be unseen but they make their presence known…  They nudge you from time to time.

   When you’re tapping away in your computer in the wee hours of the night, you know you’re not alone… A brief message on ym –”hey, you still alive?”; a silly custom message that pops up from time to time –”anggapo la rad dya, wadya larad baguio”; a short  chat; or the simple smiley lit up beside your pal’s ym… Oh, they’re enough encouragement.  You’re working side by side with your real e-pals.  ;)  That is real friendship!

   I love you, thank you, sweet Ms loveLydia and Mr guapo. Bow ako sa ‘yo, mamu.  The best ka talaga, moo moo ! (Yung red horse natin, mga bru, ha? ;)

    Oh boy, I’m so blessed!  I feel…  gooold!  Ta da da , da da!

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     “You aren’t being paid for that?!”,  exclaimed someone in disbelief when I said I don’t get money from writing.  She wrinkled her nose in disdain  This is the sort of person I wouldn’t think twice on staying away from.  A set of shallow perspective is already deeply embedded in that little brain.  It’s pointless to bang your head on a brick wall.  You just as well turn away –saves your energy… and sanity!

Some people find it hard to believe that you do something without expecting anything in return…  You do “it” simply because you want to do it, you like the moment of doing it, you absolutely love doing it, you know you’re fulfilling your life’s purpose by doing it, or… “it” gives you life by merely doing “it”.  Simply put — you find joy in doing it… so you do what you do and give whatever you can possibly give.  I’m not saving my best dance for last… I do my best dance, I dance my way through life. It doesn’t matter if I’m not in-synch with everybody’s music.  Heck!  I dance to the beat of my own drummer.  I might fall flat on my ass but I’d dust myself off, shake off the grit, and get on my best dancing feet again!  ;)  Whenever the music moves me, I won’t sit it out.  I’d dance!

I do rebel against a whole lot of things (I wouldn’t have anything to write about if I don’t, do I?)   Writing just anchors me.  When I see my thoughts on paper/onscreen, things would start to make sense (I don’t care if it doesn’t make sense to you.  I write for myself ;)  heh! heh!  My sense of balance is restored, I get re-connected to my core, I reach out… and connect to you.  And get swatted like a fly, too, when I get harsh criticism on what I write (remember my worst critic?).  The sting subsides, it doesn’t kill me.  It smoothens my rough edges, not sharpen it.

There’s always a risk in creation.  You put your heart on the line, make yourself an easy target.  The heck with that!  I am taking that leap of faith… I trust… My eyes aren’t shut, I feel that my heart’s where it should be (chestpains kick in;), my mind must be muddled but I’m certain everything makes sense (to me, at least!)   So this is “it”, baby!    

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