I kept out of my homepage for over a week. My thoughts had been a muddle I couldn’t put things in proper place, couldn’t arrange words in proper order, couldn’t organize the kinks in my gray matter, couldn’t clear the muck off my darn head. My brain’s simply having a dysfunction I was losing my good-crazy self
:D :D That’s right, am now laughing it off. My nephew’s right, I should be sent to a rehab.
Recently, I’ve been told several times by the people around me to take things easy… on the Net! “Hey, Joy! Be good, girl. H’wag ka mag-aadik, ha?!” Sus, ginoo! Yan ba naman sinabi ng ate Evelyn ko! My nephew Arvin told his mom, “Ma, I think we should get Ate Joy in a rehab. She’s so addicted to her laptop, it’s on even when she’s asleep!” Oh, boy! I got a bad belly ache from laughing so darn hard. So… I was away from this corner. I put off writing for awhile… but there I was on the other homepage and out in another, going oooh-ga-ga over my photojournal (sorry, another addiction that needs rehabilitation, according to my cousinbears). So there was I, not writing but editing. Poring over other literary souls’ written thoughts brought me back to life. There are others out there going through their own struggles, climbing their own steep mountains… needing a hand to reach for. And here I am… whining, whining, whining! Darn, I hate whining! Oops! Sorry, am raising my voice. Am just reprimanding my bad-crazy alter ego.
Funny how the things I consider a therapy are viewed by some as addiction, an obsession. They could be right but what I do is still saving my sanity. I’ll take a rest for a pretty while but I won’t stop. I would remain silent… but my heart will keep beating for that one thing I want, baby. I won’t sit and mope, I’d be playing like crazy… with words, and forever will be loving you… er, I mean, words! See, am still not up to writing my crazy thoughts. I am not making sense. But what the… Am ventilating… am not spitting fire :D :D :D There! Am laughing at myself again. Maybe I better should check in… the rehab? My rehab’s here… and inside somebody’s darn heart ;) That heart could be listening or it had shut its valves down. Just not my laptop and camera! I could never live without ‘em (yay! adik na nga!) Oh, man! It doesn’t matter… I am still me — having the good-bad-crazy… whole of me.
This is just a moment… There will be other moments… And in one of those moments, I’d be dead! So I am living my life as human-ly possible :D Yup, am really human! I get scrapes, bruises, broken heart and bones, deep wounds… all from striving to have the most playful, joyful, mature, and child-like existence… no, not existence… it’s… life.
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