*There was a man who saw a scorpion floundering around in the water. He decided to save it by stretching out his finger but the scorpion stung him. The man still tried to get it out of the water but it stung him again. Another man told him to stop saving the scorpion but he said, “It’s the nature of the scorpion to sting. It’s my nature to love. Why should I give up my nature to love just because it’s the scorpion’s nature to sting?” MORAL: Don’t give up loving. Don’t give up your goodness even if the people around you stings.*

The message above was forwarded to me by my dearest friend, sometime after my utter defiance of her order to let go of the two people I love who was causing me pain at the time…my mother and my partner. It’s probably my friend’s way of acquiescing_ knowing my bull-headedness, her way of finally giving her approval since she’s very much against my partner. Nobody’s opinion can intimidate me on how I should be feeling. I am inside my head and heart. I know when to hold on or let go.

Love sometimes stings. Pain is a part of loving. Words and actions can sting. We say or do things which can hurt the other without even meaning to. When you’re stung, do not focus on the hurt. Look beyond your pain. Knowing the loved one well will help you understand why he do the things he do. He could be suffering, too. The parts of us where we tend to deviate from love are not our defects but our wounds. Keep an open mind and an open heart. Keep holding on.

Looking past the stingers, you’ll see a sweet, caring, sensitive, loving, and compassionate individual. When someone’s innately good, the goodness shines through. No matter how cruel, indifferent, uncaring, or unloving a person appears, the beauty lies within . . . just lying dormant for some reasons.

For some of us whose scars run deep, we tend to see an ulterior motive in anyone’s deep interest in us. We always wonder what the other person wants from us _ favor, job, sex, money. We find it not easy to believe that we’re wanted only for who we are as a person and not for what we can possibly give. We doubt somebody’s love that we, consciously or unconsciously, go to great lengths (even behaving recklessly and irresponsibly) to test the depth and genuineness of that person’s love. We try to drive the one away by behaving in a way that stings, testing his limit.

Whatever my mother’s wounds that make her reject me, I hope it will fade away. Whatever my partner’s wounds that fire him to act in a reckless way, I hope it will heal. Their pains are mine, too. It sting but I got just the right antidotes I know _ my faith in them and my love for them. Unlike the scorpion, it’s definitely not their nature to sting. Somewhere sometime, something had violated their naturally loving state that made them act the way they’re acting now. It’s just a phase. They will get through. They are the toughest, most beautiful creatures I know.

“. . .In love, I unconditionally accept the evolution of others…” (The Warrior’s Prayer, author unknown)

Posted in JoyzJourney | No Comments »

I got three hours to kill before returning to work. Hop I went for the bus after picking up my medications from cousinbear’s lair which j. lo bought and mixed for me. Destination: mall. I soaked up the warmth of the mall the moment I got through the door. A welcome relief from the harsh weather and extreme cold outside. I barely made ten steps down the stairs when the warmth turned to sharp pain in the chest… Darn “Noel”, echoing in the halls of the mall.

During this kind of season, it is not just my winter allergy, ICD and SAD I had to deal with. I am also allergic to Christmas songs. I tried to block the carols from my ears… and heart, for over an hour while awaiting the photos to be developed.

I became only aware of the music again when James Blunt’s gloomy song is on the airwaves. It reminds me of Moo Moo. Now, the heck with my wounds… other souls are bleeding, too. I ran out from the mall to the cold world outside, making a mental note to bring my earphones on my future stops there…

Posted in JoyzJourney | No Comments »

Like a fleeting light across the sea of darkness, a powerful presence will emerge.  This entity can move, invigorate, revitalize, and transform… or simply propel you to fly high, like the wind beneath your wings.  A shaft of light beaming on the dark spot of the soul; fueling the fire in your heart; replenishing the luster in the eyes… making you see beyond what the naked eye can see.  A radiant light that create the spark in the dead spot of the brain.

The sudden gust of wind… you sail in its teeth or off it.  It will suck you in its warm core.  Blow you away to towering heights.  Fanning the scorching desire to find out more, know more, want more.  Never quenching the thirst to discover more.  Giving you the will to live… livelier, fully human, to take more risks, and break through barriers; more substance;  more meaning in a gypsyesque existence; more spaces to explore; more possibilities to discover; more worlds to conquer.

Waxing.  Waning.  Its presence ephemeral… but its memory eternal.  It will never die… and will remain fixed in the mind, imprinted in the heart.  Invisible.  Enchanting.  Untouchable.  Potent.  Intangible.  The entity’s presence is strongly felt.  It looms large in the head.  Fills up the senses.  Fills you up inside and lift your whole being up.

The wind.  Its breath warm and soothing.  Its whoosh in rhythm with my beating heart.  Its sense of wonder and excitement in line with mine.  Its breeze a music, in tune with mine.  Same wavelength, however different shores.  Its train of thought in synch with mine.  It’s simply real and magical.  Its view of the universe… somewhat in the same frame as mine.

Two entities . . . they can never be one.

Posted in JoyzJourney | No Comments »

Bachelor of Science in Biology. Swell! What was I thinking, majoring in that field when all I ever loved about it was the roll of organisms’ scientific names in my tongue, being Latin… now, that’s Languages. The course was way off the road to the career I want so much to pursue.

It is never too late to change course and find the right track. When you spent most of your life eye-ing something far out of your reach, you will eventually get there. Time and money-wise, I still cannot afford the formal study. I am a poor earthling, sweetie, but richly blessed. The One-Up-There keeps dropping angels on my big lap. Angels bearing on-the-job-training for me; presenting me huge opportunities to hone my skills in the profession I want to be in. My writing tools are ready; the ones Ms lovelydia suggested are on my toplist to purchase next.

On my first few attempts at editing, I felt unsure and guilty messing up with somebody’s written thoughts. When I got the gist of it, I turned keyboard-happy –prune here, trim this, cut that off, plant some words here, chop these! I am unforgiving and ruthless, and I am deriving such pleasure from it A blast! This must be how a pig feels when wallowing in mud –the dirtier it gets, the happier it is. The more disorganized, incomprehensible, and incongruous letters, words, and sentences are; the higher the level of excitement.

What makes it doubly joyful is, I have an accomplice –in tampering, he he! I am sooo honored when she called me “partner”. One word, overwhelms me. See the power of words? Partner make me feel sooo high, I feel I sprouted wings! Wow, angel na bigla aketch, mamu… isang pilyang baklang anghel! SweeTeacher said we’re equals, isang paligo @ occasional p… lang ang lamang niya sa akin. Pssst, pardner, equal din tayo dyan, ‘lam mo po ba?:) Abu talaga kita, to the max!

The real challenge lies in the seemingly perfect writings. You become entranced by the power and beauty of the words that you tend to overlook the imperfections. The tiny errors, missing punctuation marks, awkward words, and occasional disorganization of sentences; all these things you see upon focused and closer scrutiny; deeper analysis. And you work on polishing them. While you’re doing so, you’re learning BIG time, and so with the one who penned the writing you’ve put your heart and soul to work on. Editor and writer improving their crafts.

It is akin to life. I am open to close scrutiny by the selected few, makes me see the dirt on my face… and I will act on it; grateful for the one who held the mirror for me. I can edit bits of my present life but not the whole of it, and never the past. By golly, that’s silly! Scrap the past. I defied Kim’s Law somewhere on this page. Now, be kind enough and show me faults you see on the piece. Be quick, before I turn into a critic’s ass-chewing witch!

I am an apprentice. My great sweeTeacher on Editorial 101 gave me a list of rules, which is growing each time there is a new “candy” (article). I refer to it as Kim’s Law. When I am working on a piece of somebody’s writing, I am in a garden of words, walking in the writer’s shoes. When I stumble on thorny weeds and loopy vines, sweeTeacher will leave me bleeding to figure out how to untangle myself. Tough teaching method. (Just a scrape, anyway.) But a soft heart, hands over a first aid kit while pointing out other unseen and tiny, easy-to-miss spots that ruin the beauty of the garden –the allergens creating the itchy feeling that something is amiss…

Posted in JoyzJourney | No Comments »