I’m floating on air.  I feel light… headed!  The ‘high’ feeling comes not from being on high spirits but from countless days and nights of sleeplessness.  I’m not my usual shutter-happy self that i missed to capture nature’s beauty today.  Too bad I wasn’t up to it.  It gave my poor, over-used camera a rest though.  The morning walk gave me a cool breeze and cleared the cobwebs in my head.      Some people just could turn heads when they passed by… am one of those people this morning ;)  You see, I noticed a lovely creature gawking at me.  And the darn earthling’s adorable I petted him and he liked me instantly!  I’m a head-turner alright… but Lucky is somebody’s canine. I couldn’t have taken the poor, cuddly dog home with me :D   

    I neglected my page for weeks.  I never even tried putting pen to paper for the newsmag.  My last article was harshly criticized by my worst critic –not me, at least (I’m past that stage:)  The dear ancient lawyer thought my piece was lopsided and so unfair to someone close to both of us.  I got an eyesore reading her letter. She could’ve chewed my ears off if she’d been talking to me.  After that, I got busy… procrastinating.  I took temporary refuge on another website, exploring.  The nastiness of a stranger sent me back to my homesite (Friendster’s friendlier;) so it got me to write “Blue Funk”.   The earthling turned out to be as adorable as Lucky is :D

    There are certain things I just can’t easily write about until I had given myself  enough space and emotional distance.  Things too sore and too raw mend, in time.  As MLV said, “There’s a time for everything”.  Now is just not the right time to write about my mom (on a much brighter light) when we are still in the process of patching up, mending our relationship.  I’m taking things one day at a time. 

    There are times when the world seems to me to stop turning, I’d wonder if I could still reach her.  But that’s just one of the down times… Time moves on, and so do I.  It’s not ingratitude nor disrespect that I put things off.  It’s just my way…  and I only hope my critic respect that.  My own mother understands that… We need no words to convey our feelings — mom and I feel the ache and hear each other’s hearts.  And only the two of us would know what is…  The love’s never lost…

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